Three Funky Monkeys: December 2007

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Wednesday, December 5, 2007

I'm thinking my children watch too much Showtime...

Abby: I know you said you're TRYING to be nice, but you're still not allowed around my
children!!

Georgie: But if you let me in, I promise I won't kill them.

Abby: I know, but I still think you're trying to trick me!! GET OUT!!!! Help! Police!!

Name: Margo

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Learn 101 Random Things About Margo

1. I was born in Florida.

2. I was raised in New Jersey from the age of ten months.

3. I have not lived in NJ for almost 6 years now.

4. But when people ask me where I'm from, I still say New Jersey.

5. I have no relationship with my biological father.

6. I was adopted by my dad when I was a young child.

7. I detest when people refer to my biological father as my "real" dad. My REAL dad raised me.

8. I am afraid of the dark.

9. I am afraid of basements.

10. I have no sense of direction... I make a wrong turn and get lost constantly. Even in my own neighborhood.

11. I've been called "Charlie Brown" because of my habit of sticking out my tongue when I am concentrating really hard.

12. I only eat bite sized food in even numbers. (i.e. cereal, corn, m&m's, nuts, peas etc, etc, etc...)

13. I would die for my children.

14. More significantly, I would kill to protect them.

15. I used to smoke a lot of pot.

16. I still wonder what long-term effects that has had on me.

17. I quit smoking cigarettes in 2001.

18. I occasionally sneak a cigarette when no one is watching me.

19. I miss smoking. A lot.

20. I lost my virginity way too young. I regret, not the person, but the age.

21. I have only had sex with two men.

22. I have never cheated on anyone.

23. I have been cheated on.

24. I have been truly in love twice in my life.

25. I do not want to be cremated when I die.

26. I am a creature of habit, but I hate living in a routine.

27. Red wine gives me a nasty hangover.

28. But I drink it anyway.

29. Tequila makes me want to dance.

30. I hate to dance.

31. But I would love to learn ballroom dancing.

32. I am five foot seven.

33. I have never had a broken bone.

34. I am very reserved at first glance.

35. But when you get to know me I never shut up.

36. I don't like confrontation. I am unassertive. I don't stick up for myself very well.

37. I think that comes from being an only child.

38. I have never been arrested.

39. I have never had a cavity search.

40. I hope I never have a cavity search.

41. I hate people who do not use spell check.

42. I hate when people type LiKe tHiS.

43. Inconsiderate people piss me off.

44. I am one of the few people that misses high school.

45. I am left handed.

46. I sleep with my socks on.

47. I sleep with my underwear off.

48. I love to read.

49. I am very nosy.

50. I cannot sleep with the heater on.

51. I always sleep with the window open above my bed. Even in the winter.

52. I hate the smell of Pine-Sol.

53. I love the smell of sweat.

54. I pour milk on my Jello.

55. I like mustard and onions on my grilled cheese sandwiches.

56. I think coffee smells better than it tastes.

57. I have been pregnant four times.

58. I have three children.

59. I would love to have at least two more someday.

60. But I will probably never have more children because I can hardly afford the ones I have already.

61. I used to play the clarinet.

62. I wish I could play the piano.

63. I really want a tattoo.

64. I have ADD.

65. I stay up all night.

66. I have never had braces.

67. I love being alone.

68. I'm scared of turning thirty.

69. I'm even more scared of the alternative.

70. I love sleeping with my kids.

71. I have never worn glasses or contacts.

72. I am terrified to fly in a plane.

73. But I want to skydive someday.

74. I love airports.

75. People who drink "decaffeinated diet sodas" annoy me.

76. I am a great speller.

77. I won the spelling bee in the fourth grade.

78. I love romantic comedies.

79. I crave recognition when I work hard.

80. I want beautifully manicured nails.

81. I hate fake fingernails.

82. I love a tidy house.

83. I used to be a slob.

84. I still keep a few junk drawers to satisfy my inner pack-rat.

85. I am a giver by nature.

86. I'd love to go to the theatre more often.

87. I hate people who do not say "please" and "thank you."

88. I don't have a favorite color; I like them all, but I'm partial to green and purple. Pink too.

89. I love to cook.

90. I'd like to bake more often, but I'm lazy about it.

91. I love to sing, but I am horrible at it!

92. I love cloudy, rainy or snowy days.

93. I love going down the shore.

94. But I hate the beach.

95. I love lakes.

96. I adore Ireland.

97. I am a cat person. Dogs are entirely too needy.

98. Margaritas are my favorite alcoholic drink.

99. I hate being naked.

100. I am turned on by English accents.

101. I believe in soul mates, destiny, karma and kindred spirits.

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Little Things

I remember the little things
that once were only mine,
a homemade heart you
brought from school,
a "Mommy Valentine,"
fingerprints on window panes,
footprints on my rugs,
a little note you wrote to me,
soft and cuddly hugs.

I remember the little things
that I shall always miss,
a dandelion bouquet for me,
a smile, a laugh, a kiss,
Kool-aid smiles of berry blue,
popsicle grins of red,
good night kisses on my cheeks,
tucking you in bed.

I remember the little things,
that can't be bought or sold.
The children that God gave to me
were more precious than pure gold.

~Susan Maree Jeavons

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Wednesday, December 5, 2007

I'm thinking my children watch too much Showtime...

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